I am puke
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
