the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
