i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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