i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
