hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
