do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
