we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
