I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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