I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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