He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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