I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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