I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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