Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
