when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he puts the penis in happiness.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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