i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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