I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
