There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My vagina is officially offended.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
