Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
