It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
