take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
