and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
