I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
