who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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