His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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