Sry I called you an 8
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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