The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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