I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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