I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
