Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
