I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
