she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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