You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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