It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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