Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
