I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just pee around me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
