He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
