U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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