The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
