Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
this boner is exhausting
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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