i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Bring me that man meat
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
