yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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