the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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