Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
