I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
