So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
