We're facebook friends in real life
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
