She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The Olympian is in my bed
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