i don't like sucking hair
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
