my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
