what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
