can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
