I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
