question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
