you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
