Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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